We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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