Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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