We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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