you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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