I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize