Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
