One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
