in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
