okay pat passed out under dana's car
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
