so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I think I sprained my soul last night
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
