Betty ford says i'm here all night
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
