the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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