So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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