If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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