my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
