Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
