We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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