I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
