my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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