you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We're too hungover to prance.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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