If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
