we're blogging at a bar
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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