farters have to be the big spoon...
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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