Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
