hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
