I want to stick my p in your. b.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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