At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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