arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
