how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
