I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
