check it out our google latitudes are spooning
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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