Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
