If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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