farters have to be the big spoon...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
