I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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