I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
