As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
