Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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