hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
