Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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