Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
