i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
