its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I didn't notice because vodka
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
