Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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