I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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