The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
"it" just moved
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
