i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
