his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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