I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
We got so high we made milksteak
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
