how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
