Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
