she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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