My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
