id be glad to
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Someone signed my nipple.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
