I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
