well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
